By Michael Tyler, EJS Poet-in-Residence, and Others
Foreword
The events of this past Sunday made me think of the women in my life, many of whom were a part of sewing and knitting and quilting circles. I would sit around them and listen to them share stories and hopes and dreams. Special memories. In that moment of reflection, I wished that they were all here, right now, to bear witness to the moment. From that memory I began to shape up The Quilted Word.
Let exuberance be the word for today! I feel it fully expectant and ready to deliver a moment unlike any we have ever witnessed. Within the past generation, with not even a full two decades of time lapsed, we have seen our country march headlong, crossing mile markers of restrictions, interdictions, denials, delays, indecencies and indignities on our collective journey beyond the negations of our past.
Now, for the second time in as many years, we are at another threshold moment, ready to cross another barrier. It is with the magnitude of that significance that I wanted to render the moment.
I have spent this week dedicated to one of the greatest writing challenges I have ever given myself. I wanted to curate and arrange the words of women throughout history, as an address and an homage to speak to this moment.
After researching and reading and amassing 312 quotes, I selected 68 to weave into a cohesive narrative, words spoken and written by women, for women — and the world. I have only added conjunctions and connecting phrases where needed to give this “collaboration” its cohesion.
This composition I have constructed honors the power and leadership of Black women. At the end of the piece, I have provided a citation list of the quotes used, to also share and verify and validate the women who offered the fabric and stitching for The Quilted Word.
~ Michael Tyler
The Equal Justice Society is a 501(c)(3) nonpartisan nonprofit and does not endorse political candidates.
The Quilted Word: To Women, From Women
By Michael Tyler et al
I am the essence of magic, its mysteriousness, its beauty and its ability to make things happen when people couldn’t see how. Where there is a woman there is magic, and each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women. But I know I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own. And I know I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples.
Women must become revolutionary. This cannot be evolution but revolution, and revolution is about change, and the first place the change begins is in yourself. Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change. You can be the lead in your own life. Deal with yourself as an individual worthy of respect, and make everyone else deal with you the same way.
Because if you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it. A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy. A wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim.
It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it. And the way we think of ourselves has everything to do with how the world sees us, and how we see ourselves successfully acknowledged by the world. I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be. The reason they knew who I was is because I told them. I did what my conscience told me to do, and you can’t fail if you do that. Because the woman who doesn’t require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.
When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid. I call something a miracle when an ordinary person achieves something extraordinary. We all have the potential to create miraculous changes. And yes, sometimes I feel discriminated against but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me. I’m a woman phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, that’s me. Embrace that you are your best thing, for self-esteem means knowing you are the dream.
Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn’t be that women are the exception. If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair. As women achieve power, the barriers will fall. As society sees what women can do, as women see what women can do, there will be more women out there doing things, and we’ll all be better off for it.
Do not live someone else’s life and someone else’s idea of what womanhood is. Womanhood is you. Womanhood is everything that’s inside of you. And we are slowly reshaping womanhood in a modern generation, breaking free from the cycles of Black generational woman trauma. Grounded in the beauty of our ancestors’ strengths, we embrace a shift, letting go of what no longer serves us. In our collective strength, we wield the power to flourish despite adversity, emerging as empowering forces to be reckoned with.
We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us, but also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves. We must abolish the entitlement that deludes us into believing that we have the right to make assumptions about people’s identities, and project those assumptions onto their genders and bodies. Why? Because definitions belong to the definer, not the defined. And if you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others. Everything is within your power, and your power is within you. So, the question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.
We all have a certain measure of responsibility, to those who have made it possible for us to take advantage of today’s opportunities. For every door that’s been opened to me, I’ve tried to open my door to others. When I liberate myself, I liberate others. So, my daily challenge to myself is to be part of the solution, to be a joyful warrior in the battle to come. Therefore, I will no longer act on the outside in a way that contradicts the truth that I hold deeply inside. I will no longer act as if I were less than the whole person, I know myself inwardly to be.
At every moment, we always have a choice, even if it feels as if we don’t. And every moment wasted looking back, keeps us from moving forward. In this world and the world of tomorrow, we must go forward together or not at all. Don’t let anybody convince you this is the way the world is and therefore must be. It must be the way it ought to be. Get up. Stand up. Speak up. Do something. And when you can’t find someone to follow, you have to find a way to lead by example.
Women and girls can do whatever they want. There is no limit to what we as women can accomplish. And to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful, and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams. Who knows what women can be when they are finally free to be themselves.
You don’t have to be pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend, spouse, partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female.’ The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get-kind that comes from within: strength, courage and dignity.
Don’t follow the path. Go where there is no path and begin the trail. When you start a new trail equipped with courage, strength, and conviction, the only thing that can stop you is you! You have to believe in yourself when no one else does, and you don’t have to think about doing the right thing. If you’re for the right thing, then you do it without thinking. And when the world tells you to shrink, expand. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never dull your shine for somebody else. Question yourself, yes, but don’t doubt yourself. There is a difference. Be brave. Be amazing. Be worthy, and know that you never have to ask anyone permission to lead. When you want to lead, you lead.
Now, to you, poised to become “The First”. Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. You must never be fearful about what you are doing, when it is right.
There will be people who say to you, ‘You are out of your lane’. They are burdened by only having the capacity to see what has always been, instead of what can be. But don’t you let that burden you.
You get in life what you have the courage to ask for. Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. Don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have, because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own. You have the power to change perception, to inspire and empower, and to show people how to embrace their complications, and see the flaws, and the true beauty and strength that’s inside all of us. Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality. You are on the eve of a complete victory. You can’t go wrong. The world is behind you.
Quotation Citations:
1. “I am the essence of…” — Jenaitre Farquharson
2. “Where there is a…” — Ntozake Shange
3. “Each time a woman…” — Maya Angelou
4. “I am not free…” — Audre Lorde
5. “I alone cannot change…” — Mother Teresa
6. “Women must become…” — Shirley Chisolm
7. “Revolution is about change…” — Assata Shakur
8. “Your willingness to…” — Iyanla Vanzant
9. “You can be the…” — Kerry Washington
10. “Deal with yourself…” — Nikki Giovanni
11. “If you are silent…” — Zora Neal Hurston
12. “A wise woman wishes…” — Maya Angelou
13. “It’s not the load…” — Lena Horne
14. “The way we think…” — Arlene Rankin
15. “I have chosen to…” — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
16. “The reason they knew…” — Ursula Burns
17. “I did what my…” — Anita Hill
18. “The woman who doesn’t…” — Mohadesa Najumi
19. “When I dare to…” — Audre Lorde
20. “I call something a…” — Tina Turner
21. “Sometimes, I feel discriminated…” — Zora Neale Hurston
22. “I’m a woman phenomenally…” — Maya Angelou
23. “You are your…” — Toni Morrison
24. “Self-esteem means…” — Oprah Winfrey
25. “Women belong in all…” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
26. “If they don’t give…” — Shirley Chisolm
27. “As women achieve power…” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
28. “Do not live someone…” — Viola Davis
29. “We are slowly reshaping…” — Jenaitre Farquharson
30. “We must reject not…” — Shirely Chisolm
31. “We must abolish the…” — Janet Mock
32. “Definitions belong to…” — Toni Morrison
33. “If you don’t get out…” — Michelle Obama
34. “Everything is within…” — Janice Trachtman
35. “The question isn’t…” — Ayn Rand
36. “We all have a certain…” — Angela Davis
37. “For every door that’s…” — Michelle Obama
38. “When I liberate myself…” — Fannie Lou Hamer
39. “My daily challenge…” Kamala Harris
40. “I will no longer act…” — Rosa Parks
41. “At every moment, we…” — Tina Turner
42. “Every moment wasted…” — Hillary Clinton
43. “Don’t let anybody convince…” — Toni Morrison
44. “Get up. Stand up…” — Tamara Burke
45. “When you can’t find…” — Roxane Gay
46. “Women and girls can do…” — Michelle Obama
47. “To all the little girls…” — Hillary Clinton
48. “Who knows what women…” — Betty Friedan
49. “You don’t have to be…” — Erin McKean
50. “The kind of beauty I want…” — Ruby Dee
51. “Don’t follow the path…” — Ruby Bridges
52. “You have to believe…” — Serena Williams
53. “You don’t have to think…” — Maya Angelou
54. “When the world tells you…” — Elaine Welteroth
55. “No one can make…” — Eleanor Roosevelt
56. “Never dull your shine…” — Tyra Banks
57. “Question yourself but…” — Charmaine Wilkerson
58. “Be brave. Be amazing…” — Shonda Rhimes
59. “You never have to ask…” — Kamala Harris
60. “Every great dream begins…” — Harriet Tubman
61. “You must never be fearful…” — Rosa Parks
62. “There will be people who say…” — Oprah Winfrey
63. “Courage is the most…” — Maya Angelou
64. “Don’t ever underestimate…” — Michelle Obama
65. “You have the power…” — Beyoncé
66. “Breathe. Let go….” — Oprah Winfrey
67. “Let us make our…” — Malala Yousafzai
68. “You are on the eve…” — Josephine Baker